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California government recommends buying a giant hamster wheel to charge your electric car

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — With skyrocketing costs and grid outages across California, the California government is recommending everyone buy a giant, human-sized hamster wheel to generate electricity to charge their electric cars .

“Electric cars are admittedly a little less functional without electricity,” Gov. Gavin Newsom said in a statement. “So the other day I had this brilliant idea. You peasants can just generate your own electricity on huge spinning wheels, just like hamsters! anyway, I guess.”

The new wheel, currently being developed by top engineers working for the State of California, will be eight feet tall and look incredibly silly. Early adopters report that a full charge requires the equivalent of a 38-mile sprint.

“As soon as little Timmy comes home from daycare, I put him behind the wheel,” said neighborhood dad Jon Bennett. “It’s too much for one person, so we’re involving the whole family. I even put my mother-in-law in there, but it’s mostly just to watch. She’s so slow with her bad hip.”

The wheel will also be used in Europe where some regions expect the cost of electricity for a single car charge to reach hundreds of euros.

At press time, California announced a high-end deluxe wheel, with a low-friction wheel and feeder to get people going.

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